HIHEZL: Chapter 1. He Is His Excellency Zhi Li

Author: Angelina

Translator: Renkun27

Proofreader: KainGuru

The mottled shade of trees flitted across the bus window, flickering; azure skies, white flaky clouds like chopped cotton candy, and light-green school buses drove smoothly on the road.

Ke Bu was leaning against the bus window with the right side of his face. He had a lifeless look in his eyes. The city’s so big, you can’t see the end. Find a wife, build a house, buy a piece of land, and set up a landscape together — this afterwards is precisely headed for the road to disaster. He did not know why, but his brain suddenly flashed this line from a movie.

Excited new students stirred up the atmosphere within the bus with passion. He stuck his head out of the bus window so as not to make eye contact with others.

Unexpectedly, a boy just next to him showed no understanding of the times[1] and kept on patting Ke Bu’s shoulder. Ke Bu turned his head to catch sight of a bright smiling face. He clicked his tongue. So long as someone would show this kind of stupid smile, Ke Bu could almost determine that this was a fool.

([1] cannot adapt to current circumstances)

“Classmate, hello, my name’s Gong Zhu[2]. Because of a homophone, a lot of my old friends make fun of me by calling me princess[3].” He just could not hold himself back from saying that, then he chuckled.

([2] 「公诛」Gōng Zhū)

([3]「公主」gōngzhǔ means “princess.”)

“If it’s a homophone, boar[4] should be right.” Ke Bu looked askance as he sized up this boy with his eyes: He had sparkling big eyes, small and straight nose, slightly upturned lips, blushing cheeks, slender figure, and a beautiful face.

Gong Zhu was not angry; instead, he even flashed a smile similar to that of a loving father who was forgiving his son: “You’re very interesting. I think we’ll become good friends.” Someone appeared from the fairy tale world and tried to be on good terms with everyone!!

([4]「公猪」gōng zhū means “boar.”)

“No, I’m not a good and honest person at all. Our attributes aren’t close. In order for both sides to make a good impression on their first meeting, their mouths being closed is the most appropriate choice.” Instinctively, Ke Bu moved his body a little bit away from Gong Zhu.

Gong Zhu did not listen to Ke Bu’s words: “I feel a little nervous. This is my first time going to school so far away from home. Perhaps, there a love that would be envied by others will develop.” He was innocent and unaffected.

“Is it possible that you’re thinking about getting together with — while holding the book of a beautiful young girl you collided with — full on? She coyly presses down her billowing skirt, saying ‘Ah, I hate it, don’t look at me.’ When visiting the library, your fingers accidentally touch the same book and then you gaze at each other for ten seconds. The rain falls and as one passes by on the street, she can be seen playing with an abandoned cat. She would rather be the one to get wet in the rain by giving the umbrella to the cat. Stop dreaming, these bad vulgar plots of reality should’ve been burned a long time ago.” Ke Bu, a very realistic child! Never having any positive illusions about the world.

Gong Zhu waved his hand to negate Ke Bu’s hypothesis: “I think it was a sudden bump into a powerful student president. Everyone else is very respectful of him. Only I will fiercely ignore him. Because of this, he’d always look for me, but doesn’t want to see me and other people together. Or in the faculty room, while no one’s around, the teacher hugs me from behind and whispers in my ear, ‘It’s been a bad day in class.’ Or suddenly waking up from a strange place and finding yourself sleeping next to someone else. Since then, there seems to be a bond that was formed between the two.” The more he spoke, the more excited he was. His smile became more and more dazzling and as if the space behind his body changed into a pink bubble.

Ke Bu’s eyes slightly dilated. His entire back was almost quickly affixed to the window. He was well-informed. How could he not understand that what the ‘princess’ described could make a complete BL plot!! He dodged the dazzling light and covered his eyes with his hands: Not good, it’s the first day of school and I runs into an outrageous xiaoshou[5]. Ke Bu was now full of uneasiness about his school life.

([5]「小受」[slang] bottom in a homosexual relationship)

Ke Bu was in shock. The bus started to slow down, then it finally stopped. Ke Bu got off the bus and followed the crowd. The grand school gate shone in Ke Bu’s eyes. There were towers made out of bricks on both sides. A black, European-style gate was situated in the middle. Uneven green walls surrounded the place. Ke Bu took out his luggage and stood amidst the noisy crowd of students. He squinted his eyes as he looked at the legendary school. This private school was fundamentally different than other schools. He managed to get into this school because of his father’s friend, who happened to be a teacher here. The school was located in the outskirts of town. From the nearest town, you could take a one-hour bus ride, but the service was not good.

Unknowingly, Gong Zhu was already standing beside Ke Bu. His eyes were bright and piercing. He was like a young girl who was yearning for love. Ke Bu looked in the direction of Gong Zhu’s gaze. With just a glance at the crowd, his gaze locked on to a man who was standing underneath the dazzling, warm sunshine. Every part of his body emitted waves of alluring electrical energy. He had a clear face and was damn good-looking. People did not dare to look at him but some just could not stop staring. This boy was out of this world.

“Can, can I, ask, ask for your name?” A girl nervously asked.

“What?” His face was expressionless.

“Can I ask for your name?” The girl repeatedly asked.

“What?” He also repeatedly asked.

Gong Zhu asked: “Does His Excellency, the Prince, have bad ears or not?”

“If you will call him by that name again, I’ll turn you into His Excellency, the Steamed Stuffed Bun.”

“Can I ask for your name?” The girl’s volume was a bit louder this time, as if really wanting to make a final confirmation.

“What?” She got the same mechanical response, this guy obviously heard it! It seems that the girl was finally aware of it, so she embarrassingly followed her companions and walked away.

Ke Bu dragged his suitcase and started walking. Ke Bu pondered about passing by the boy so that he struggled taking a step. The thought of controlling a subconscious action was somewhat embarrassing for Ke Bu.

“What, you came to ask for my name?”

“I was just thinking about asking if and when will you die,” Ke Bu retorted.

The boy did not get angry, he pondered: “About fifty years old.”

“Don’t answer so seriously!! And you’ve set yourself up dying too young!!” Ke Bu could not help shouting.

“If you only have twenty years to live, then it’s not too short.”

“Don’t give my life a deadline!!” Ke Bu was a little powerless to refute.

“Zhi Li, so here you are!!” A boy from a distance called Zhi Li’s name and came running over. Ke Bu bitterly snorted and dragged his suitcase to leave.

Gong Zhu chased after him from behind: “I thought you were someone who doesnt admit defeat, being scolded like that by His Excellency, Zhi Li, you actually let it go at that.”

Ke Bu tried to ignore him calling and curled his lips: “My instincts tell me that I should avoid unnecessary conflict.”

“What you said is so exaggerated. I think His Excellency, Zhi Li, looks very good to get along with.”

Ke Bu inexplicably sneered, followed by his shoulders shaking after hearing what Gong Zhu said.

Soon afterwards, Gong Zhu coyly asked: “Well, um, what do you think about His Excellency, Zhi Li?”

Ke Bu was not a fool. Generally speaking, behind this type of a simple problem lied an unusual heart. Ke Bu stopped then turned: “I don’t care if you like men; however, a word of advice for you, Zhi Li, this person, stay away from these kind of people; even better, it’s best not to encounter them. He’ll only take advantage of your girlish feelings.”

“You talk like you know a lot about His Excellency, Zhi Li.”

“Just look at people more accurately.” After saying this sentence, Ke Bu left. This type of infatuation came at the cost of draining every bit of life that exists; moreover, he was a man. He was definitely not stupid. Ke Bu shook his head as he recalled some terrifying memories.

He just pushed open the dorm room door and a whiff of evil greeted him. Ke Bu caught a glimpse of a person’s silhouette, then closed the door shut. He took a deep breath then opened the door again. After proving that it was not an illusion, Ke Bu rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.

“That’s simply absurd.” Chu Haoyu said with a helpless look.

“That’s what I was supposed to say, what are you doing here?” Chu Haoyu, Ke Bu’s senior high school classmate, his head was full of eroticism causing his brain to no longer fit inside. It was such a waste of having such a fine and outwardly attractive human body. His dorm room was completely filled with posters of women with big breasts.

“This is my dorm room, where else should I be?” God loved cruel jokes. Why did he have to live with this damned person? Ke Bu unzipped his suitcase and took out his clothes and groceries.

“Anyway, Ke Bu, do you think there’s something different with me today?”

“I don’t want to know.” This was the first day of school and this was like a sign that something unfortunate was about to happen. Of all people, why did it have to be Chu Haoyu!?

“I’m not wearing underwear today,” Chu haoyu proudly said.

Ke Bu threw down the clothes in his hands, “I said I don’t want to know!”

“I heard it’s a good way of distributing male sex hormones. Too bad, all this time… I’ll go look for Zhi Li then.” Zhi Li, Zhi Li again.

Ke Bu picked his clothes back up and looked up at the ceiling: “Your Excellency Zhi Li, you’re everywhere.”

The name Zhi Li — just like a mischievous perpetrator — soon afterward — wantonly penetrated into Ke Bu’s marrow.


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17 thoughts on “HIHEZL: Chapter 1. He Is His Excellency Zhi Li

  1. Pingback: Danmei Novel Reading List | 하루만 네 방의 침대가 되고싶어 OH 재중

  2. I think I’ve found my bosom buddy– Chu HaoYu!!!! XD I can’t believe he transmigrated into this story, imma go find a way to follow then XD //just found this story and I can already see that I’m gonna enjoy this to the MAX even tho idk the pairing yet XD comedy, my bff

    Liked by 1 person

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