Author: Jianjia Nizi
Translator: FoxyJung, Clapkingle
“It’s my fault. I was the one who took you guys to the flea market…”
Ash was so ashamed. He wanted to bury himself. He could see that Yan Sui was really worried. He had never seen him with such an unsightly expression. It was as if the longer Meng Ting was missing, the more difficult it was for Yan Sui to control his mood.
“All of those from the hotel who could be dispatched, have been dispatched. Let’s wait for another half an hour. If we still can’t find him, I’ll call my brother. I assure you that we absolutely won’t lose him.”
Yan Sui knew that Meng Ting was not a little girl, yet he was also not an ordinary eighteen-year-old boy, and Yan Sui could not explain to Ash about his peculiarity either. He actually lost a person in a foreign country, far away from home, just like that. Yan Sui wanted to punch himself.
There was a voice from the distance and Yan Sui even thought it was his own hallucination. He then turned around and Meng Ting appeared at the end of the street, holding a bouquet of white roses. He was waving and smiling at him, as well as walking toward him, step by step.
Yan Sui immediately locked his line of sight onto him before striding forward with large steps. Meng Ting blinked and stopped walking forward. Soon afterward, the boy and the flowers in his hands were all together embraced by the man, very vigorously embraced.
“Yan Sui…” Only two words had left Meng Ting’s mouth before he was even more tightly wrapped up in the man’s embrace. He already guessed that Yan Sui would be worried, but he did not think that he would be this worried.
While Yan Sui was holding him, his arms were slightly trembling. At first, Meng Ting was taken aback, but then he relaxed his body, and let Yan Sui hold him. He did not pay any more attention to the bouquet, which he had acquired with difficulty.
Yan Sui continued to tighten his arms, as if he wanted to hug this person until he was absorbed into his bones and blood. He could only do this as he was unable to say a single word.
Before, when he could not find Meng Ting, he was worried and angry. Even if it was Meng Ting, Yan Sui thought that when he saw him, he would give Meng Ting a proper scolding.
Meng Ting had wandered off and Yan Sui waited for him at the original place. How could he just heedlessly follow some other person? What if he met nefarious people? What if…he did not dare to continue thinking about this ‘what if.’
However, when Yan Sui finally saw the boy, he was instantly overwhelmed by a staggering rush of the remaining fear and rejuvenation of his loss. Besides holding the boy tightly, he could not say anything.
“Yan Sui, I’m sorry. I made you scared,” Meng Ting whispered and rubbed against Yan Sui’s neck, then he kissed Yan Sui’s cheek.
Yan Sui embraced Meng Ting for a long time, before releasing him. He carefully examined Meng Ting thoroughly, making sure that he had no injuries. Then, with a darkened face, he led the boy to the hotel.
Yan Sui passed by Ash, and lightly nodded, then continued to lead Meng Ting inside.
Ash hesitated for a moment. He did not know whether he should follow them or not.
Meng Ting looked at Yan Sui’s side profile, then he wanted to look back at Ash. Unfortunately, before he could see Ash’s face, he was already taken into Yan Sui’s arms. Yan Sui took off his suit jacket and directly wrapped it around the boy. After that, Meng Ting could not see anyone at all.
In the whole process of entering the hotel, then the elevator, and then their room, Yan Sui had not spoken to Meng Ting. It was like he also did not plan to say anything to him.
Gradually, Meng Ting became quite panicked. He thought that Yan Sui would be angry, but he did not think that he would be this angry. He glanced at the flowers still held in his hands. Inside, he felt a bit despondent as well as a bit afraid.
Yan Sui saw the quiet boy in his arms choke lightly. The door of their room had just been closed before he embraced the boy again. His embrace was even stronger than before, and the bouquet in Meng Ting’s hand fell to the floor. Meng Ting reached out for it, but in the end, he still chose to embrace Yan Sui back, instead of bothering with the bouquet.
“Yan Sui…” Before he could finish his words, Yan Sui raised his chin, then kissed him.
Yan Sui’s kiss was seven parts fierce, two parts lust, and also one part self-restraint. Inside Meng Ting’s lips, he completely swept through once. Yan Sui’s ferocious and attached manner gave Meng Ting the illusion that he was going to be devoured into the man’s stomach.
Only when Meng Ting’s breathing became more and more chaotic, did Yan Sui release the boy. He looked into Meng Ting’s eyes, then he picked the boy up and walked over to the bedroom of the suite.
Meng Ting’s arms encircled Yan Sui’s neck. There was an added contemplation in his expression, like he was trying to figure out what to say. However, during the interval while he was still thinking, Yan Sui had already carried him back to their room and placed him on the bed. After that, Yan Sui’s kisses started pressing onto him again.
He was kissed from forehead to chin and then downwards, starting from the side of his neck. It could not be described as fierce, yet it could not be described as gentle either.
Panting lightly, Meng Ting held Yan Sui’s head and grasped his hair, yet he was still unable to hinder Yan Sui’s following actions.
“Yan Sui, is it that you’re angry, so you don’t want to speak with me?”
Meng Ting actually did not mind being intimate with Yan Sui. However, up until now, Yan Sui still had not spoken to him. Because of this, he could not help but feel a bit worried.
“You will still want to speak with me later, right?”
Yan Sui’s response to him was holding a certain sensitive part of his body in his mouth and biting softly, his tongue made Meng Ting’s whole body tremble. His hand that was clutching Yan Sui’s hair, tightened slightly. He was afraid that his grip would hurt the man so he released it. He wanted to grab onto the quilt under his body, but then his hand was caught by Yan Sui.
Yan Sui placed Meng Ting’s hand over his head. This kind of unconventional punishment had not ended yet, but in the end, Yan Sui was not willing to hurt the boy. He used caresses and kisses to affirm Meng Ting once all over, from the hair on his head to his toes, but some matters still had not been brought to an end.
Meng Ting’s eyes grew even more misty. He had the look of being hardened by bullying. Yan Sui’s heart softened. He stretched out his hand and wanted to rub Meng Ting’s face, but Meng Ting turned his face away. He grabbed the quilt and shifted himself, breaking away from Yan Sui’s embrace, then wrapped himself up.
Yan Sui did not withdraw his hand and the darkness in his eyes became even darker than earlier when he had just seen the boy. He thought that Meng Ting was also angry. Indeed, he should be angry.
Before Yan Sui could blame himself, a muffled voice came out through the quilt, “If you won’t speak with me, I won’t speak with you either.” Meng Ting said these words while truly feeling quite hurt, yet the feeling of fear was even more intense. He was afraid that Yan Sui would never speak to him again.
Soon afterwards, he was held by Yan Sui, taken into his embrace, and called quietly with an unclear tone, “Meng Ting…”
Yan Sui only briefly called him then Meng Ting quickly came out from the quilt. He tightly held Yan Sui’s neck and complained by whispering, “I know I’m wrong, and you can scold me, and it doesn’t matter if you want to fight with me, too. Just don’t stop speaking with me. I feel very sad and also very scared.”
“Sorry.” Yan Sui spoke, but it was an apology. He hugged the boy tightly. It was only now that he could feel secure in the reality that Meng Ting was really back by his side. “I am in the wrong.”
It was him who lost the boy, but he had transferred his emotions onto Meng Ting. He picked up the boy together with the quilt, patted Meng Ting’s back, then once again sincerely said, “I’m sorry.”
“Hmn,” Meng Ting answered, then he clasped tightly onto Yan Sui’s neck. Slightly loosening his grip, he said, “In the future, if you get angry again, you still need to speak to me, alright?”
“Alright,” Yan Sui answered, but knew that Meng Ting did not actually understand his fear. When he did not speak, it was not because he did not want to speak; rather, it was because he could not speak. He was also afraid of saying something that he would regret.
“Hmn, then you don’t need to apologize anymore.” Meng Ting also did not want to continuously listen to Yan Sui say sorry to him. He knew that it was he, himself, who was in the wrong in the first place.
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Meng Ting leaned on Yan Sui’s shoulder and gazed at Yan Sui’s side profile. He spoke quite slowly, but his words were fairly clear and coherent. “I returned the flower to the man, then I went looking for you, but there were too many people. I followed a person for a long time just to find out that it wasn’t you, but he really looks like you. At first, I thought he just looked similar from behind, but afterwards, when he turned his face, I found out that his appearance also resembles yours.”
The man had a moustache around his mouth and an unruly look with a hint of decadence, but it was undeniable that this was the kind of man that could no longer be described with words such as ‘handsome’. However, in Meng Ting’s eyes, the most important point was that he and Yan Sui had a great resemblance.
“He’s older than you. I thought that it could be Dad, so I followed him quietly.”
As before, Meng Ting watched for Yan Sui’s reaction, but discovered that he did not have any reaction at all. Even the strength of his embrace remained unchanged. Meng Ting paused. He could not decipher what Yan Sui was thinking about in this moment, but still continued to talk.
“But soon afterwards, I  was found out again…I’m so useless.”
( Clapkingle note: It says 他 [He] in the original text but I’m pretty sure it was a typo and was meant to be 我 [I].)
Meng Ting repeated his whole conversation with the man to Yan Sui. After that, he joined him in his silence.
That man was obviously Yan Yu, yet he said that he did not know Yan Sui. Originally, Meng Ting did not feel like sad, but now that he was observing Yan Sui’s silence, he was also quite saddened. It was not Yan Sui’s fault, yet he had suffered a lot of undeserved anger. Moreover, this undeserved anger came from his closest relatives.
They were not at fault, but his Yan Sui was not at fault either.
Yan Sui stretched out his hand to rub Meng Ting’s hair. After a long time, he said, “It’s normal that he doesn’t know me.”
If possible, he perhaps wanted to think that he did not exist. If he did not exist, there would not have been such a situation afterward between him and He Yue. He had not been in touch with his family for so many years; a large part of the reason was because of him.
Because he was born from the woman whom he absolutely loathed, in this situation, it would be quite difficult not to indulge in anger.
“However, I still want to thank you.” While saying this, Yan Sui leaned over and kissed the space between Meng Ting’s eyebrows, then he slightly lowered his voice and said, “It’s good that he‘s alive.”
Actually, this was not only his own hope, but also the hope of his grandparents who had passed away. The last sentence that Yan Sui’s grandfather had said to him was precisely, “Don’t blame him.” In the very beginning, he thought that ‘he’ was ‘she’ , meaning He Wan. Looking at it now he must have meant Yan Yu.
( The pronouns ‘he’ [他] and ‘she’ [她] are pronounced the same in Chinese.)
A person’s death was like a light that had gone out. It was natural that Yan Sui would not want to blame anyone, as it was only people who were alive who could really be blamed or not be blamed. His grandfather must have known that Yan Yu was alive or believed from the bottom of his heart that he was alive, even if he was unwilling to return and unwilling to see anyone related to his past again.
Regarding parental blood relationships, Yan Sui never insisted upon it. After he knew that He Wan did not like him, he was merely indifferent toward her and upheld a necessary level of respect, all the while waiting for the day when their relationship would rupture completely.
It was an intense feeling that he began to have when He Wan started attempting to control him because it was impossible for him to be a puppet in her hands. He was just a son whom she gave birth to and did not like. He was a person.