The teacher at the lectern was splattering spit everywhere. Ke Bu held his chin in his hand and looked at the group chat. The messages from this group of people were too many. It was hard to believe when he thought about it. From when they first met each other at the beginning of school up until now, they seemed to have experienced so many things. Although they often argued, betrayed, spurned, and beat up one another, they continued to stay together; their goodness was hidden within the bad. They thought that they would spend their whole lives without being understood, but were dragged out of the dark swamp by Zhi Li. Ke Bu knew that life with only two people was not enough.
His sprained foot was still aching. Ke Bu sent a message in the group chat, “My foot still hurts a bit.” The previously lively group chat suddenly became quiet. He waited for a minute and quickly typed, “Is no one gonna be concerned about me?!” He took back his previous thoughts. This group of animals should go and drop dead. They all should just completely die.
Outside the classroom, a middle-aged woman passed by the window, Ke Bu looked over. The woman was holding a child in each hand, a boy and a girl. Both of them were around five years old. The woman told them a few words and then left. It did not look like she was their mother; she was more like their nanny. The two children stood at the door and carefully poked their head in to take a look, only then did Ke Bu see them clearly. They were a set of twins with sparkling eyes, red lips, and plump faces. The boy wore a little black suit with a tie, while the girl wore a pink puffy dress and had a pink headband on her head. The pair looked like they could be placed in a cupboard and be sold as dolls. They were extremely cute! The adorableness of the two drew out high-pitched screams from the girls in the classroom and mobile phones were even taken out to snap photos of them.
The teacher coughed lightly a short while after. She looked at the two children and used a mild voice, “Kids, are you looking for someone?”
The two children immediately ignored the teacher’s question and stood on the tippy toes of their tiny, little feet to search across the classroom. The girl suddenly shouted and tugged the corner of the boy’s clothes, “There, Daddy, Daddy!!” The silvery sound of the child’s call made everyone gasp a mouthful of cold air.
The girl and boy hurried into the classroom. Chu Haoyu pushed Zhi Li who was sleeping on the desk. “Who knew which idiot did something outside. We have a good show to watch.” Zhi Li opened his eyes and leaned backwards on the chair with an indifferent expression. The two children were not hurrying over to some other person. It was actually Zhi Li. The two fought to pounce on Zhi Li’s thighs, “Daddy, I miss you so much.”
“Daddy, I miss you even more.”
Zhi Li gazed at the children dawdling on his legs, “Why did you two come?” There was no denial! The whole class was shocked, especially Ke Bu. When did this happen? When did he have these two children, who were already this big, behind his back!?
“The kindergarten‘s having a break. That stinky woman, Dou La, bragged to us that she went to school to find you. We wanted to come to see Daddy, too.”
Chu Haoyu was the first to react. He sprung up from his seat, “Zhi Li, you, you, you…” It looked like his shock was too much. He could not speak complete sentences. The little boy showed the whites of his eyes, “Daddy, who‘s this garbage?” This was his child all right. With those inherited genes, this was definitely his child.
“Daddy, I’m hungry. I wanna eat something.” The little girl looked at Zhi Li pitifully. The two children were so noisy that the class could not resume. The teacher awkwardly coughed again. They could not interfere with students’ private lives, “Zhi Li, take them outside first. Class is still on-going. Don’t disturb the other students.”
The little girl rolled her eyes, “Daddy, let’s go. Let’s not disturb them. Let’s see how many PhDs she’ll manage to teach with this weak look.” The veins on the teacher’s forehead began to throb.
Zhi Li stood up languidly. He lowered his head after taking a few steps, “Hey, can you two stop hugging onto my legs? How can I walk like this?” Both children obediently let go and walked behind him in a well-behaved manner, leaving behind a crowd of astonished people. What was that scene just then? Ke Bu fell on his desk in panic. He only knew one thing. It was definitely not him who gave birth to these two children who called Zhi Li daddy.
Right after class, those who went on break rushed to the school building. Ke Bu staggered behind them. When they pushed open the door, it revealed the sight of the two children eating snacks around the table with Zhi Li drawing beside them.
“Shouldn’t you clarify a bit? How old were you when you had these children with another person? Who‘s their biological mother?”
Zhi Li’s short answer finally cleared things up. This pair of twins was called Zhi Xiaoke and Zhi Xiaoxun. They were Zhi Li’s paternal uncle’s children. They worshipped their Elder Brother Zhi Li. One time, they dragged him to play house with them and had him play the role of the father. For some unknown reason, they kept calling him daddy after that. Ying Xiujie looked at the two little devils, “What, so is that what this is.” Zhi Xiaoke frowned and glared back at Ying Xiujie, “What are you looking at? Stinky thug. Daddy, this yellow-haired fellow has intentions towards me.” Alarmed, Ying Xiujie backed away, “Is it naturally innate? Whether it‘s from Lan Yin’s side or Zhi Li’s father’s side, there‘s this kind of personality that makes other people grind and gnash their teeth.”
With a motherly smile, Zhou Xinhe came forward to speak, “Hello kids. I’m Zhi Li’s friend called Zhou Xinhe. It’s alright for you to just call me Elder Sister Xinhe.”
“We‘re not that familiar. It’ll be alright to just call you Zhou Xinhe.” Zhi Xiaoxun stuffed his mouth with chips.
“Such cute children.” Gong Zhu wanted to place his hand on Zhi Xiaoxun’s head. Zhi Xiaoxun glared coldly at that hand and Gong Zhu awkwardly stopped it in midair. Beside him, Chu Haoyu rejoiced in his misfortune. Zhi Xiaoxun and Zhi Xiaoke looked at him, “Oh, so this garbage‘s still here.”
“Zhi Li!! You didn’t teach them what being polite is.”
“Have you ever seen Zhi Li being polite?” Ke Bu reminded him. After what just happened, Ke Bu already lost the courage to go up and say hello.
“Ke Bu, aren’t you going to come and meet your future family members?”
After meeting them one by one, Ke Bu felt more and more reluctant to enter Zhi Li’s family. Zhi Xiaoxun turned his body, “So you‘re Ke Bu? I’ve heard Duo La talk about you. It turns out you‘re a cripple. You‘re not mentally deficient either, are you?”
Zhi Xiaoke raised her little chubby hand up, “I also heard her say he‘s a wretched and worthless weakling.” Ke Bu clenched his teeth. That bastard Duo La. He changed to a nice smiling face, “Elder Brother Ke Bu’s not like what Duo La said. Don’t believe her. Later, Elder Brother will buy food for you to eat, is that good?” Ke Bu’s invitation was exchanged with a cold response, “Are you treating us like five-year-old children?”
Zhi Xiaoxun snatched the snack in Zhi Xiaoke’s hands, “Daddy bought these for me.”
“They’re mine.” Immediately ignoring Ke Bu, the two started fighting over the snack. “Let go, stinky little devil.”
“You let go, damned woman.”
The two started kicking each other. Zhi Xiaoke called out to Zhi Li, “Daddy, Xiaoxun snatched my stuff. You bought them for me, right?”
Zhi Xiaoxun was also not willing to back down, “Daddy, you bought them for me, right?”
“What?” Did he use this trick on children as well?
In the process of being grabbed back and forth, the snack tore open and the stuff inside flew out onto Zhi Li’s sketchbook. Like children who had misbehaved, Zhi Xiaoke and Zhi Xiaoxun stood in an obedient manner. “Don’t you understand manners?” Zhi Li reprimanded. Ke Bu pointed at him, “These words should‘ve been used earlier!” There had been no reaction from Zhi Li about that pile of rude words they said before, but only when his own drawing was dirtied did he rebuke them. Demonic family.
“How could you speak to Daddy so loudly!” Zhi Xiaoke glared at him with wide round eyes, and then folded her arms, glancing sideways at Ke Bu from the corner of her eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know about your little schemes. You wanna take this opportunity to attract Daddy. What? Do you want us to call you Mommy?”
“I do not!! Also, don’t look at me with that kind of expression!” What sort of teaching were these two children imbued with?
He was ignored once again. Zhi Xiaoke reached into a small crossbody animal bag and took out a mirror to look at her reflection. She touched her face, “The air here‘s so dry. I wonder if it‘ll cause wrinkles. Indeed, I’m getting older. Time is truly a cruel thing.” After hearing a five-year-old child say these kind of words, this group of much older people grew gloomy.
“Daddy, if nobody wants me, will you marry me?”
“No, close relatives can’t marry each other.”
“Why!?” Zhi Xiaoke widened her round eyes in disbelief.
“The next generation will have a high probability of inheriting genetic disorders.”
What kind of conversation was this!? Zhi Li shook off the crumbs on his sketchbook and continued speaking, “Also, someone won’t agree to it.”
“Ke…” Zhi Li had not finished his words yet when Ke Bu quickly strode forward and covered his mouth. “What are you planning to tell these kids!?”
“Again, stop pestering Daddy. Can’t you have some restraint?”
“I don’t need you to lecture me.”
“Tsk, tsk. On TV, the ones who are acting your type of person are most likely not get satisfaction, Ke-wha-is-it, Ke-rubbish.”
“Remember my name properly!! Also, stop watching strange TV shows.”
Zhi Li gazed at Ke Bu, “So that‘s what happens.”
“Don’t agree with what she said!!”
Zhi Xiaoxun looked Su Youyan who was silently reading a book beside them, and walked over. “Hey, you look like the type that I like, so…” Zhi Xiaoxun suddenly blushed, “Would you like to date and see how it goes?”
“In my eyes, you‘re at most a baby.”
“How would you know if you‘ll be happy or not, if you don’t give it a try?” This pair of twins watched too much strange TV shows!
“We‘re not compatible. You should find someone else.”
“You only say that because you don’t understand me.”
“I’m only saying this because I understand you. Sorry, I think I won’t ever be with you in this lifetime.”
“How could this be? You‘ll regret this decision.” Zhi Xiaoxun said seriously.
It was hard to imagine that this was a conversation between a kindergartener and a university student!
Usagi notes: Our new translator Clapkingle also made this fanart for Zhi Li and Ke Bu. If you have your own fan arts for any of our stories or translations, please feel free to share it with us so we can feature your fan arts in our website. You can send them at firstname.lastname@example.org.