S&OP : Chapter 2 – Hot Rolling Speculations

Author: Su Youbing

Translator: Renkun27

Proofreader: KainGuru

The program entered the normal process.

Shi Daming fully utilized the characteristics of the ‘variety show veteran does the job of two’ and mastered the rhythm from beginning to end.

Xiao Bai only inserted advertisements and only showed up when it was a wide shot. However, he listened to the director’s words. The main program was recorded for nearly an hour. He sat alone on the side and foolishly laughed for an hour.

At the end of the day, Yan Su’ang suddenly smiled at Xiao Bai, “Why are you in a daze?”

Xiao Bai woodenly replied: “No, I’m listening to your chat.”

“Is it amusing?”

“Well, it’s more amusing compared to the big aunty [1] upstairs of my apartment.”

([1] Pun intended: big aunty here was written as「大婶」which is read as “dashen.” Great God, which is Yan Su’ang’s title, is written as「大神」and is also read as “dashen.”)

… The big aunty upstairs of my apartment.

… The big aunty upstairs of my apartment.

Big aunty.

Shi Daming completely became petrified Daming [2].

([2] Another pun: Shi Daming’s name is written as「施大明」. Petrified Daming is written as「石化大明」and is read as “Shihua Daming.” Not really sure if the author meant anything else with「大明」here. If you have any idea, please let us know.)

Chen Fei looked at the screen with his eyes wide open, then slowly softened down because of the seven words [3] that were repeatedly revolving in the middle.

([3]「我家楼上的大婶」The seven words or characters. Translated as “The big aunty upstairs of my apartment.”)

The video camera on the cameraman’s shoulder constantly trembled.

Only the Great God’s expression was reckoned as normal, but if you would look carefully, you would find that the dolls that were specially made according to his image were pinched beyond recognition by him.

Shi Daming tearfully said: “Yan Su’ang, thank you for attending.” What it actually meant was: Great God, you’ve been inconvenienced.

Yan Su’ang touched his nose, “Actually, I really like watching your program.”

Chen Fei’s mind relaxed. Fortunately, the Great God is still caring for us, so even if we would encounter a small problem, he should be tolerant.

“However, you should get Luo Peijiao back soon.”

The sound effect of the audience heartily laughing loudly sounded, and this horrible period ended the program this way.

When the Great God left the stage, Chen Fei was so busy so that he was within an inch of his life. He jumped up and down, and ran around in the studio.

His figure viewed from the back, the lateral side of his face, and his sweat all indicated that he was very busy, very busy, very much busy.

Yan Su’ang beamingly said to Shi Daming: “Tell Director Chen that I’ll leave first.”

“Uh-huh, you take care.”

“Tomorrow’s ‘New Song of the Month’ is also directed by Director Chen, right?”

The whole of Shi Daming’s heroic body trembled. He almost forgot that the Great God was playing a song for the new record album before coming to ‘GO! GO! SU…SUPERSTAR.’

“So, I should still see Director Chen tomorrow.”

… Shi Daming looked at the Great God’s tall and dashing back, and silently prayed for His Excellency Director Chen’s well-being in his heart.

The moment when Yan Su’ang’s leading foot took a step away, Chen Fei’s vitality invigorated again. “Zeng… Bai… Come over here!”

Xiao Bai was sitting in the chair, thinking about making money. When he heard Chen Fei calling him, his eyes immediately lit up and he eagerly ran over.

Chen Fei slammed the script in his hand on his head, “You, you, you, you’re a pig. You actually compared your big aunty with the Great God…”

The surroundings strangely calmed down.

“Oh no, I’m talking about you unexpectedly comparing your big aunty with the Great God!”

… What was the difference between this and the sentence just now?

It continued to be silent all around.

“In short,” Chen Fei continued to flip out, combined with all of the frustration that was caused by Luo Peijiao, completely spurted out, “Do you know what this program is? Do you know how difficult it is for you to sell pork here? Do you know… Fuck, who brought a pork seller here!? Isn’t the food market still separated by two streets?” He turned his head and roared for help.

The assistant drew back his neck, “I don’t know. I saw him standing in the hallway and he looked pretty good…”

“The giant panda even looks better. Why can’t you see it?” Chen Fei almost vomited blood. He turned around, pointed at Xiao Bai’s nose, and angrily said: “Why are you standing in the hallway? Talk!”

Xiao Bai said: “I came to apply.”

“And the outcome?”

“I couldn’t find a place to apply for a job.” Xiao Bai said with grievances, “I asked him the way, then he pulled me here.”

The assistant did not dare to look at Chen Fei’s face.

“I… forget about it.” Chen Fei wiped his face, “This isn’t the case, sigh, I hope that the Great God won’t take this seriously. You, Zeng Bai, go back first.”

Xiao Bai said in a low voice: “You still haven’t given me money yet.”

“I still haven’t…” Chen Fei was almost short of breath not bringing this up, “You can’t be thinking I can still deny my responsibility to pay your money?!”

Xiao Bai did not speak, but his little deer-like eyes sold out his inner worries.

Chen Fei was completely defeated by him. “Give him your contact information. I’ll help you with this money.” Fuck, who told him that non-TV station staff, non-guests, and non-temporary actors like him can apply as a substitute host?

Xiao Bai left his phone number and home address before he skeptically left.

Meanwhile, NCC’s official website, the Great God’s official website, and ‘GO! GO! SU…SUPERSTAR’s’ official website has been experiencing the netizens’ wanton and indiscriminate bombing. Even Shi Daming and Luo Peijuo could not escape by sheer luck the sweeping tail of the typhoon.

All posts focused on the following issues:

Question number 1: What did actually happen to Luo Peijuo?

Although he was not really famous, he was still quite popular; so this topic quickly took up the major forums. Many fans, non-fans, people who knew, and people who did not know, had a few mouthfuls. The moderators of the Boundless Sea and Sky Forum analyzed and sorted out all of the answers and finally got the following:

Speculation 1:

Luo Peijuo, just as what Shi Daming said, eloped with another man.

Most of the supporters of this argument were fujoshis, and they pledged in all sincerity to preserve all of the evidences they found ages ago that Fellow Classmate [4] Shi Daming’s look at Luo Peijuo’s eyes was quite unusual. An electric current would usually generate every three seconds. And every time Luo Peijuo felt like drinking water, Shi Daming would involuntarily lick his lips — this was simply an undisguised harassment! It’s a shady desire!

([4]「童鞋」 [tóng xié] “children’s shoes” sounds similar to 同学 [tóng xué] “classmates,” this Internet slang term refers to a (fellow) young person in an affectionate way. It was created to imitate the Taiwanese Mandarin accent.)

Later, Luo Peijue discovered this love, so he got scared and eloped with his lover!

Speculation 2:

Fellow Classmate Luo Peijuo was murdered.

Supporting this argument were fujoshis with higher IQ and a more perverted mentality. They deemed that Speculation 1 was only a superficial phenomenon. Even if Luo Peijuo discovered Shi Daming’s feelings for him, he also could not run away. He would definitely invite the other party out, drink beer together, wait for the beer to go through three rounds, and the atmosphere would gradually get better. The eloquence of the talented and savvy was good and tempting. They were hoping to guide Shi Daming back to the right path and become a Buddha on the spot [5].

([5]「立地成佛」an idiom which meant “to repent and be absolved of one’s crimes.)

However, it was obvious that the final development was out of hand. Although Shi Daming was very kind, very amiable, very honest and very easy to bully on the surface, Gu Long [6] once said that the honest monk was not honest. Therefore, Fellow Classmate Shi Daming’s kindness, amiability, honesty, and easiness to bully were only false illusions! In fact, he was the Jack the Ripper of the East! What he could not get would never be available to others. Fellow Classmate Luo Peijuo turned into such gorgeous dog food [7] of his.

([6]「古龙」Gu Long (1938-1985), Taiwanese wuxia novelist and screenwriter)

([7] 狗糧 [gǒu liáng]: Dog food. Single people’s self-pity triggered by public displays of affection by couples online or offline.)

Therefore, they proactively called on the police to go to Shi Daming’s home to search for his refrigerator, bathtub and microwave oven.

This kind of speculation finally produced countless related posts. The most famous of which was ‘One Hundred and Eight Ways of Destroying the Corpse and the Evidence’ and ‘How to Make Good Use of the Right Time, Place and People to Kill.’

Speculation 3:

Fellow Classmate Luo Peijuo was kidnapped.

Legend has it that he was the illegitimate son of Luo Dingou, the richest man in the city. The kidnapper unintentionally discovered this secret and immediately started to take action. Now, Luo Dingou is actively cooperating with the police, hoping to rescue him as soon as possible.

Speculation 4:

Luo Peijuo offended the Italian Black Hand.

Don’t ask him how he offended them. In short, he offended them. Now, he is being nailed on the crucifix to accept his holy judgement.

Amen.

In short, in the minds of the proponents of the speculations 2, 3, and 4, Fellow Classmate Luo Peijuo would be fraught with grim possibilities. Whether it was now or in the future, to cut the story short, he was doomed in the Nine Springs [8] with hatred.

([8]「九泉」the underworld of Chinese mythology)

Speculation 5:

In order to give way to Fellow Classmate Zeng Bai, he gorgeously came to an agreement with the ‘GO! GO! SU…SUPERSTAR’ program team.

This would now raise question number 2 — Where did Fellow Classmate Zeng Bai come from?

No matter how netizens would use Baidu and Google, Zeng Bai’s past was just like his name. He was like a pie falling from the sky, but no one knew where he was hanging before falling.

So another speculation was coming, but this time, it was an unprecedented consensus —

Everyone thought that Fellow Classmate Bai had a strong background; otherwise, how could he land from the air in such a trump card program?

So the guess about his identity were as follows:

Illegitimate son of a high-ranking official.

—— I don’t know why, but netizens were very interested in illegitimate children.

A pretty boy supported by a rich merchant.

A pretty boy supported by a rich woman.

—— Although these two were only one word apart, for the majority of the fujoshis, this was a problem of attack and acceptance, and it was not confusing.

The son of a certain big shot on TV.

…. Wait a minute.

Because the leads about Zeng Bai for gossip were too few, even the insiders of the TV station were foggy, so this post had been short-lived and sank.

Question number 3. Was Zeng Bai’s brain immersed in sulfuric acid? He actually dared to compare ‘GO! GO! SU…SUPERSTAR,’ which was NCC’s trump card program, with big aunties’ trivial chitchats.

This not only insulted the Great God and the production team, but it also insulted countless viewers who were fascinated by the program.

There was no big controversy about this issue. It was basically a one-sided crusade.

Occasionally, a few deities came out to gloat, and they were quickly suppressed by the netizens’ brooms.

However, no matter how fast the Internet was, it was a cloud of smoke for Xiao Bai.

He was dreaming in his sleep at the moment, and he was ecstatically counting the performance fee from Chen Fei, whose face was streaming with sweat and was piling up and carrying box after box of money on his shoulders.

Dreams were always beautiful, and reality was always cruel.

The next day, Xiao Bai found that he was still lying on his shackled wooden bed.

He washed up his face and saw a note left by Jia Zhiqing on the table. It said that breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be in the cooking pot, and to eat it if he was hungry.

Xiao Bai walked over to the stove and opened the cooking pot’s lid. In it was a bowl of extra-large egg fried rice that faintly emitted the fragrance of cooked rice.

He picked up the spoon and was about to eat it, but he heard the phone in Jia Zhiqing’s room rang.

In order to conserve, only Jia Zhiqing’s room shelved the phone in the whole house. Since no one would usually look for Xiao Bai, he never answered the phone. However, he hesitated today. He still picked up the phone because he left his phone number to Chen Fei’s assistant yesterday.

The music on the other end of the line was very loud, and he could only vaguely hear that the other person was a man.

This probably lasted for a dozen seconds, and then the music toned down.

“Is this Zeng Bai?” The man was speaking in Mandarin, but his local accent was heavy.

“Yes, he’s me.” Xiao Bai was slightly excited. Could it be that you’re giving me money?

“I’m the CEO of Yimate, Ma Rui.”

Ah, not NCC. Xiao Bai was a bit disappointed, but he still raised his spirit as he said: “Hello.”

“I just wanted to know, have you signed with a managing company now?”

“Huh? Managing… Company? Isn’t that for some celebrities?” Xiao Bai naively asked as he lifted the telephone receiver.

“You haven’t then. If you haven’t done any talking, then how about coming to our Yimate?” Once Ma Rui informed the address for the company, “Have you written it down?”

Xiao Bai watched himself involuntarily taking note of it on his hand, then subconsciously responded: “Yes.”

“See you at two in the afternoon.” Without waiting for him to answer, the Ma Rui already hang up.

Xiao Bai still maintained the one-handed call, the action of taking notes in one hand, and the conversation just now has been flashing through his mind.

Yimate…?

Managing company…?

Two in the afternoon…?

Interview?!


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3 thoughts on “S&OP : Chapter 2 – Hot Rolling Speculations

  1. Blood

    So much speculation 😂😂😂😂😂
    The fujoshi are not that true? good not so much😅😅
    Thanks for the chapter! 💕💕💕

    Like

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