CL: Chapter 30 – Fear and Disgust

(Title – 恐怖と嫌悪 – Kyōfu to Keno – Fear and Disgust)

Minna-san, Konnichiwa!

Now we’re back to the to present timeline.

– Ren-kun ★彡


I was seriously “raped” by Ai-chan when we were in the library. She literally bombarded me with a lot of questions about me and Ryū: how did we meet, who approached the other first, have we kissed, have we done it, and many other questions. I didn’t expect that this “aloof” and “snob” girl would turn out to be an energetic and hyperactive girl. On top of that, she even asked for some information about Ken and Ki-kun.

I answered most of her questions but I did deny some. Of course, I need to reserve some privacy for me and Ryū! I also couldn’t answer some of her questions about Ken and Ki-kun.

I don’t know why but I sort of like her as a friend. I’ve never had a female friend before who would really be just a friend. Most would just take advantage of me or would end up liking me.

Ai-chan made me feel that I was secured with her. She even said that she will create an “army of love” that would protect me and my love. I wryly laughed when she said that. I don’t actually know what she meant.

Anyways, I invited her to watch the basketball practice. She was really excited.

“Ooh, ooh, ooh! Kichirō-chan, will I be able to see some action? Will you be serving Ueno-senpai some water and then wipe his sweat with a towel?!? Will he cup your face and then say you’re so cute…? Will you blush and then look like a tomato? Waaah! Waaah! I’m so excited. It’s real life yaoi. Ha ha ha!” Ai-chan was so loud and kept on pulling my arm. I can see the sparkle in her eyes, similar to those that I see in anime.

I awkwardly smiled and said: “No way. Why would I do that in public? And besides… um… let’s just go there. I know they’re about to finish.”

Her face became dark and started to frown. “Awww… so boring. I was expecting some live action.”

We walked towards the gym. It was already dark but the street lights were switched on. It was really hot that night. You could tell that it’s already summer. I wanted to stick out my tongue and pant like a dog. Oh gosh, I would seriously look stupid if I did that.

Ai-chan was jumping up and down as we walked. She walked backwards, circled around me, and constantly pulled my arm. I felt like my arm was going to be detached. She even dropped her glasses on the ground because she was so hyperactive.

I just laughed seeing her like that. She was really amusing. Her looks don’t match her real personality. She wiggled here and there.

“Hey Kichirō-chan… Promise me we would be friends forever, okay? I want to be around when you and Senpai get married,” she said as she sheepishly smiled. She was walking backwards.

“Isn’t that expecting too much? You’re already thinking in advance. Um… I haven’t even confirmed my… my feelings for him,” I hesitated as I mentioned the last part.

“Well I can tell that you would last long and I know for sure that you would return his feelings. It’s quite obvious by the way you talked earlier about you and Senpai. There were stars in your eyes and— ooff!” She bumped into someone as she went on babbling and walking in backwards.

She bumped into another girl who was carrying a few books. Both of them fell to the ground.

“Ouch!!! Hu hu hu…” Ai-chan wailed as she rubbed her bottom. “Are you okay, Senpai?” She said as she looked at the girl she bumped into.

The girl was silent and was busy picking up the books that fell to the ground.

I came to the rescue. I helped both of them stand up and pick up the books. Because it was dark, I couldn’t see the girl’s face that much. Her long, black hair was somehow covering her face, making it indiscernible if she was really a Senpai.

“Hontōni suimasen[1],” she softly said as she bowed her head. She was really gentle, unlike the girl I was with.

([1] 「本当にすいません」means “I’m terribly sorry.”)

“Oh, Senpai. Don’t apologize. We should be the one apologizing,” I shyly said. I felt sorry for the girl because it was obviously our fault. I pulled Ai-can and made her bow down to apologize.

“Waaah! Kichirō-chan I was hurt too. Why do I need to apologize?!?” She complained as she pouted.

“C’mon, show some respect,” I whispered.

“Sorry, Senpai. I wasn’t looking where I was walking so I accidentally bumped into you,” she sincerely said.

“Good,” I whispered to her ear as we both bowed down.

The other girl stopped bowing and stood up properly. She had the aura of a rich and sophisticated girl. I saw her lips curve up as she looked at us earnestly.

Ai-chan and I stopped bowing too and faced her directly. My heart thumped when I could finally see the other girl’s face. She looked so familiar… so familiar that I wanted to cry.

“Oh, it’s okay. Next time just be careful,” she said as she was dusting off her skirt that was somehow dirtied by her fall earlier. “If there is nothing else you would like to say, I’ll take my leave,” she softly said as she smiled. She passed by me as she headed towards the opposite direction.

When we were standing side by side, as she approached, I saw her grin. Her eyes, although they were covered by her bangs, I could tell were very cold; inconsistent with the warm smile that she flashed earlier.

My mind became hazy as my train of thought went haywire. My body momentarily froze so that I couldn’t move from where I was standing.

Is that… is that who I think it is?

It has been a while since I saw her. I didn’t expect that she would be in the same university as I was in. We never disclosed to anyone in Tokyo that we moved here in Kyoto. How did it end up that she was here? Was she stalking me? Or was this just a mere coincidence? Either way, I can’t stay in the same area as her. This place is far too small for the both of us. I need to confirm if it was really Miyuki; but, how come she didn’t recognize me earlier? Did she pretend to not know me? Or was it really somebody else?

I can’t go on like this…

“Hey, Kichirō-chan? Are you okay?” Ai-chan was waving her hands to get my attention. I was staring blankly. I forgot about her.

“Oh, sorry. Let’s hurry. I need to talk to Ryū. It’s something important,” I said.

“Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost? Your face is so pale. Are you anemic or something? Do you want to sit first and have a rest?” She panicked and looked really concerned with her furrowed brows as she earnestly looked at me.

“I’m fine. Let’s just go…”

I pulled her by the arm as we headed for the gym.

I was so uneasy that I wanted to cry. I wanted to call my parents because I was so scared. Of all the people, why does it have to be her? I may not be a hundred percent sure but there’s a high chance that it was really her.

Fortunately, the practice was already over. We saw them leaving the gym.

I tiptoed in search of Ryū and the others. Ai-chan looked so puzzled seeing me in this state. I couldn’t explain to her my situation. Although we are already friends, our bond is not yet that deep so I can’t explain everything.

Ryū and the others saw us so they headed toward us. I let go of Ai-chan’s arm and rushed towards Ryū. I hugged him tightly. My tears started to flood my eyes and in a matter of seconds, I bursted into tears.

Everyone was puzzled and was shocked because of how I acted.

I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t tell them just yet how despicable my past was, how I almost killed myself…

Next Chapter

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