(Title – 告白 – Kokuhaku – Confession)
It’s Kodomo no Hi already. Oh my, how time flies! Our vacation is almost up. We will fly back to Kyoto tomorrow, a Sunday.
( Children’s Day [こどもの日] is a Japanese national holiday which takes place annually on May 5, the fifth day of the fifth month, and is part of Golden Week. It is a day set aside to respect children’s personalities and to celebrate their happiness. It was designated a national holiday by the Japanese government in 1948. It has been a day of celebration in Japan since ancient times.)
After Ryū, Ki-kun, and I went out together, we decided to just laze around in Ki-kun’s place. I seriously need to talk with him because he just disappeared yesterday when we were hanging out. It’s a good thing that Ryū is good with directions so we were able to get home around 9 in the evening.
When we got home, Ken-senpai said that Ki-kun was not feeling well so he decided to go home. I knew there was something wrong because he would never ever leave me without saying a word.
Today, I wanted to talk to him about what happened yesterday. He hasn’t come out of his room and it’s already 11 in the morning. I’m really worried.
“Ryū, can I talk to Ki-kun about yesterday? I need to find out what happened,” I asked Ryū. I know how he gets all worked out with seeing me talk with somebody else. He is such a possessive jerk and we haven’t officially started dating.
“Okay, just make it fast,” he said with a straight face.
“He he thanks,” I happily smiled and left our room.
I walked toward the other end of the hallway where Ken-senpai’s and Ki-kun’s rooms are located at. I stood in front of Ki-kun’s room. I felt a gush of shyness well up within me. I was really anxious. I don’t know why. I was about to knock when Ken-senpai approached me. It appears that he came from the ground floor. He was carrying a tray with a bowl of porridge and a glass of milk.
“Hey, kid. I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” he said.
“What’s wrong, Senpai?” I asked.
“Well… you see. He’s not feeling well,” he looked like he was hiding something.
“Then I should see him. Did you get that for him?” I insisted.
“Yeah. Wait here. I’ll feed him first and ask if he wants to talk with you,” he smiled.
“Oh – okay,” I don’t know what to say so I just agreed.
I patiently waited outside of his room. I just realized something: when did Ki-kun start trusting Ken-senpai? Heh, I smell something fishy. Ha ha.
After almost half an hour, Ken-senpai opened the door for me. “Come in. I’ll leave you two for now,” he called.
I bowed and thank him.
I entered the room. I saw Ki-kun sitting on his bed with his back supported by some pillows against the headboard. He was staring toward the window.
I tried to call for him but I somehow choked. He heard me coughing so he glanced at me.
“Aniki, are you okay?” He asked.
I looked at his face. His eyes were swollen and he had dark circles around his eyes. He looked pale too. Yeah, he is sick, I guess.
“I’m fine. How about you? What happened to you yesterday?” I asked with a worried tone.
“Uhm… Aniki, I need to tell you something; but promise me that nothing will change after I tell this to you,” he sounded hesitant.
“Yeah. I promise,” I smiled.
I came close to him and sat beside him.
“Aniki, remember that day when we bumped into each other for the first time in the library?”
“Yes. What about it?” I wondered.
“That was the day that I started to like you,” he looked so serious with his piercing eyes.
“Ehhh~~~?!? Are you serious?” I was stunned. I never expected this coming from him! Two confessions within a month? What did they see in me?
“Yes. I need to be honest about my feelings. I’m afraid that if I won’t tell you this, it will be the end of me,” he hid his face with his hands and started to face away from me.
I pulled him close to me and removed both of his hands from his face. “Look at me, Ki-kun,” I said. “I’m thankful that you like me. Actually, I never expected this from you. We are like brothers. I like you too, but only as a little brother (even though you’re taller than me). I’m sorry but I can’t return your feelings for me. I think I like Ryū,” I honestly explained while looking him in the eyes.
“But — will you be happy with him? He is so rude and often treats you like a stupid person. I would never do that to you. Aren’t you afraid that he might hurt you someday?” he retorted. I could see his eyes starting to become watery.
I hugged him when I saw this and calmly said: “Hey don’t cry on me now. I know he might be a cold jerk sometimes… err… most of the time; but he is really a nice person once you get to know him. He just doesn’t know how to express his true feelings. I know that you have cared for me and I appreciate all of that; but I don’t have romantic feelings for you. I can promise to be here as your best friend… as your very own brother. That’s all I can offer you. I will be here for you for as long as you want me to. I like him because he accepted me for who I am. Loving someone is not about looking for the perfect person, it’s about loving an imperfect person perfectly. I’ve learned to accept all of him.”
“If that makes you happy then I will be happy for you, Aniki. Thanks for hearing me out and also for being my bestest friend,” he happily smiled as he wipe his tears away.
“I’m glad you understand me. Best friends?” I asked as I offered my pinky finger to him.
He nodded and said: “Yes, best friends.”
We entwined our pinkies to make a pinky swear. We hugged each other afterwards.
“Hey, one more thing,” I followed up. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I’ll make sure to pay attention to you, too. Everything is clear to me now. I will talk to Ryū about this as well.”
“Are you sure he won’t get mad if you hang out with me?” He asked.
“Yeah. I have my ways, he he,” I chuckled.
“By the way. I know someone who looks good for you,” I teased him.
“You’re talking about Ken-senpai, aren’t you?” He squinted his eyes.
“Ha ha yes! Can’t you tell that he really likes you?” I laughed.
“Well it’s so obvious. He actually confessed to me yesterday,” he blushed.
“Oho… at least now, you will no longer be single,” I tapped his arm and chuckled.
“Aniki! Don’t make me laugh!” He blushed and laughed hysterically.
This is the first time I saw my best friend laugh like this. I’m glad that everything’s clear now. At least, I’m sure that he will become happy too with Ken-senpai.